Monthly Archives: January 2018

diplomatic disagreement

How to Confront Employees using Diplomatic Disagreement

Diplomatic disagreement is an advanced form of active listening where you confront an employee to state your point of view that is contrary to theirs’.

 

It is used when you want to keep the discussion positive and yet confront another person’s perspective without causing the discussion to escalate to a conflict.

 

The more employees engage in team problem solving and discussions for improvement the greater the potential for disagreements and conflict. Employees need to be skilled in good communication techniques to avoid communication from breaking down and people becoming resistant.

 

Steps to Diplomatic Disagreement

  1. Listen and reflect
  2. Value the other person
  3. State your own views

 

Here is an example

 

 

A task team was formed to work on improving communication between the engineering and marketing departments. One employee expresses this to another:

 

“these meeting are going to be a waste of time. We’ve tried improving things in the past and it has never worked. I’m fed up with these initiatives that go nowhere”.

 

Your response using the three steps could be as follows:

 

  1. You feel pessimistic about the possibility of making any improvements and don’t want to waste your time, is that how you feel?

Wait for the answer

  1. “I don’t blame you for having reservations. It’s true that past efforts did not bring about much improvement”
  2. “But I think this time will be different. There is a new department head who sees how important it is to solve the issues between our departments. I feel confident that management will listen to our recommendations and act this time. We can already see there is new hope being expressed by many team members. I think we all need to stay positive and do our part”.

Look for opportunities to put this into practice in your work environment, especially active listening as it is important to use listen and reflect first before stating your view.

 

active listening

Active Listening Workbook Practice Exercises

Active listening must be practiced for it to feel natural. I explained all about active listening as an essential employee communication tool in my last article in video. Using my practice exercises can help you assure your understanding on active listening. It is highly recommended to use these exercises as part of a team meeting or workshop.

 

Active listening will enable team discussions to arrive at consensus, which is crucial for the evolution and empowerment of the team. It is also a must to learn to use diplomatic disagreement, another highly effective communication tool. I will cover this in my next article and video.

 

You can download the practice worksheet though this link.

 

active listening
active listening

Active Listening, a Vital Skill to Improve Employee Communication

Active listening is an essential skill to develop to improve employee communication an prevent conflicts in the workplace. It is also a key skill to learn in Stage II of team development.

 

If team members do not learn and apply active listening it could serve as an obstacle for the evolution of the team development. This is because evolved and autonomous teams need to be able to discuss issues at length and come to consensus.

Definition of Active Listening

  • Active listening is an employee communication tool.
  • Active listening is the ability to:
    • Pick up
    • Define
    • And respond accurately to the feeling expressed by another person

Steps to Active Listening

(see video for example and exercise below)

  1. Acceptance of what is being said
  2. Feedback of content and feeling

 

How Do People Behave When they are actively listened to?

  • People feel that they are being understood
  • People are free to explore their own feelings
  • People are free to express their own ideas
  • People are less likely to react defensively

Why Should your team use active listening skills?

  • Active listening helps team members to:
    • Think for themselves
    • Diagnose their own problems
    • Discover their own solutions
    • Trust each other
    • Become responsible and independent

Ways to Use Active Listening

  • If I understand you correctly . . .
  • Let’s see if I understand you correctly . . .
  • You mean to say that . . .
  • Are you saying that . . .
  • What I hear you saying is that . . .
  • Am I correct in interpreting what you said that . . .
  • Would if be fair to say that you think (believe, feel) that . . .
  • I see (understand): you think (believe, feel) that . . . is that correct?
  • What you are saying is . . .
  • In other words, you believe (feel, think) that . . .
  • To paraphrase what you just said . . .
  • You seem to believe (think, feel) that . . . is that correct?
  • You are saying that . . . is that correct?
  • You believe (think, feel) that . . . is that correct?
  • I hear you saying that . . .  Do I hear you correctly?

When to Do Active Listening

  • When you want to establish a relationship of confidence with a person.
  • When you want to help a person to better understand himself or herself and to get in touch with his or her emotions and attitudes.
  • When you find it difficult to understand what a person is expressing or is living internally.
  • When you want to learn more about a person, either about the person’s emotions or their behaviour.
  • When you are not sure what style of communication to use.

When Not to Do Active Listening

  • When the other person is looking strictly for information or when you need to act without delay.
  • When the other person’s behaviour is not appropriate (insults, seduction, aggression).
  • When you have the impression that the other person is manipulating you: he or she is talking without stopping to upset you or to avoid talking about something important that should be discussed.
  • When a person is not in touch with reality, is bordering on suicide, intoxicated or in a depression.
  • When empathic listening no longer offers any new information about the other person’s emotions or the contents of his or her communication

For a practical exercise and example on active listening please consult the PowerPoint worksheet from the document section of my website. You can access all documents though this link. Please bookmark that page for future reference.

 

reaching your goals

How Never to Fail in Reaching Your Goals

Many people set goals at the beginning of the year and never achieve them. In fact, most will abandon their goal at the first hurtle or failure.

 

All goals are achievable if the are realistic and if you are willing to take the action required at each step of the way. In my last article and video, I provided a way to review the past year and plan goals for the current or coming year.

 

All goals are achievable if they are specific, measurable, realistic, achievable and timed (S.M.A.R.T.) If you have the ability required or can acquire it and are willing to do what is essential, you can achieve your goals.

 

 

reaching your goalsWatch the video with this article and download and use my goal planning form to plan out each of your goals in detail. Give careful attention to the section on obstacles and solutions. Develop the attitude that failure is not an option and that obstacles and setbacks are normal when working on a goal. What is required is to change the plan or action and take a new step, perhaps a smaller one towards your goal.