Where do we go from here?

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Now that the US has elected a new President that everyone hopes will set the world on the right track, it is time to get back to business. I noticed this morning driving to work that the gas prices had fallen to the lowest level in at least 2-3 years. I wonder today how investors will respond to yesterdays election results.

To fix the world however is going to take a lot more than electing an intelligent and charming President. Human beings tend to depend much to much on governments and popular people to solve the problems. This is dangerous because by doing this we absolve ourselves of taking personal responsibility to fix what we have the most control over.  We have the most control over ourselves and our way of responding to what is going on around us. We can choose our response and change the outcome of any situation for ourselves and others. This is a simple yet profound concept but not widely practiced. Here is an example of something that happened yesterday and the choices that led to a negative outcome.

I had setup an interview with a businessman to profile his business for a business magazine. The business has been in operation for 57 years by the same owner and he is one of very few who still makes made to measure top quality men’s clothing all by hand.

The interviewer had agreed beforehand that I would videotape the interview and take pictures for her business magazine. I wanted to use the video for my website and to give to the business owner as a keepsake. I was in the process of setting up my equipment when the interviewer arrived and the businessman immediately starting showing her around to explain what they did.

A few minutes later he got interrupted with a call and the interviewer came over to me to tell me to follow her with my camera because she was recording everything he was saying and would use that to write her article. At first I said that she should finish the tour and then sit down for a formal interview that I could record, but I quickly agreed to follow them with my camera.

As we were touring the premises and he was introducing her to the staff and explaining what they did, I pointed the camera at her as she was asking a question. She immediately put her hand in front of the lens to block me from videotaping her and said she did not want to be taped. I turned the camera away and said fine. However, I had missed the answer to a question from an employee and repeated the question so I could record the important answer. The interviewer snapped at me and told me to stop and that I was interfering with her interview and not to ask questions.

I snapped back at her for lashing out at me and doing so in public made me respond even harsher than I should have. Later as we were waiting for the businessman to take care of another task, we got into a brief exchange about what had happened and again she fired away at me. I stood up for myself and told her what I thought of her. She immediately responded what I considered to be like a child and got up and said, that’s it I’m leaving and without further word to anyone just left.

The businessman and employees noticed what happened and could not believe that she would respond in this manner and just take off. I later called her boss to inform him about what had happened as the business owner wanted to know if they would still use the interview for the magazine. These situations and exchanges occurs in some form or another everyday in many organizations and families between so called adults. The outcome of this true story could have been very different. She could have explained in a respectful way that she did not want to be videotaped and propose a solution for me to catch what I needed on tape. After all, she had agreed beforehand to the video. Perhaps I as well could have asked her aside to tell her what I thought of her way of speaking to me.

It realy boils down to communication. But good communication requires mature behavior from two or more adults who are not dominated by fear. Fear is what causes us to behave immaturely to situations. Even if someone like the interviewer would agree to training and coaching on how to communicate well, without first sorting out the cause of her fear, she will never be able to properly apply and maintain better communication skills.

To free oneself of fears that hinder us from acting in a mature way requires self-knowledge and understanding. We need to know our type, the qualities and dominant fear of that type and how to get rid of the the negative tendency.

I know her type from behaviors I have observed in the past and in the Three Brain Synergy system we call it the Innovator. The main motivation of this type is ideas and the main fear is lack of control. This was very clearly displayed by the interviewer and she had let her fear overtake her in that moment and cuased the situation to immediately break down. This of course triggered my fears and I went into self-protection mode and my behaqviour deteriorated as well.

If every person could discover their type and learn to work on their fear, we could then learn how to collaborate using all the greatest tools and techniques that are out there. But unitl then many will defer their personal responsibility for change to the politicians and powerful influencers.

To learn more about the types of people approach you can read CrazyZoo by Fritz Glaus or visit ThreeBrainSynergy and take the e-learning demo lesson. However, the demo lesson only acts as an introduction, while the book covers the types in depth.

Stephen Goldberg

More on Success!

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What is success anyway? For me it is about teamwork. Yes I’m serious. It’s not about money or fame; it’s about accomplishing worthwhile goals towards a personal mission that benefits humanity and life while working with others. This is new for me and it has come from realizing certain things about myself and about living life.

After all, who is life for, the animals, insects, what? No it is for human beings to enjoy the feeling and experience of being alive and to understand who we are and why we are alive.

So if we do things for anything else other than that, we are contributing to what? Probably to our own false ideas about what is going to make us happy, like a new shiny this or that. It means we are focusing on ourselves and our own needs rather than the needs of others. Of course I don’t mean we should ignore our own needs to serve others because that doesn’t work either.

Here are two examples to illustrate what I mean and why taking my approach will not only transform your own way of being, but it will also change the world as we know it.

Yesterday a good friend who works in the public health care system was telling me about a committee meeting to work on an important project regarding the care of terminally ill patients. She found herself at complete odds with some of the staff members who she felt were inflexible in their thinking and could only see things from the perspective of following policies and procedures. She told me that this so demotivated her that she doesn’t want to work with people anymore. I was shocked to hear this because she is such a kind, caring and intelligent person.

The other day I had a phone conversation with someone I collaborate with on a project as volunteers. I had started action on a project and she felt that I was acting to quickly and wanted to wait for a meeting to happen so a plan could be put in place. My immediate response was to tell her bluntly that this was not necessary and we needed to move forward. But I bit my tongue and instead thought of what caused her to say this. I realized instantly that it is because of the type of person she is. In the approach to knowing myself and others called types of people (http://threebrainsynergy.com), her type is called the Planner type. Planners are careful decision makers because their inborn tendency is to work with a plan and strategy and they have a talent for research, planning, and logistics.

My response instead was to listen, acknowledge her response as being understandable and valid before then offering to clarify my perspective. In the end we agreed to continue with my proposed action but called a meeting for next week to create a longer term plan with more details.

I also understood that my own type, the Idealist wants action and goal accomplishment and when this does not happen I can get pushy and agressive. So right there was two opportunities, one for conflict and the other collaboration. It would have been much more difficult to choose the collaborative approach had I not understood how and why we are different. In the past, I would have thought her way of thinking and seeing things was wrong and would have tried to convince her to see things my way. This would have just escalated the possibility of a conflict or would have forced her to agree on the spot and then perhaps harbor some resentment towards me.

The point I am trying to make is that through by my understanding the types of people approach and the importance of collaboration and seeking to understand the others person’s perspective, I have found a way to combine teamwork with the determination of my goals and mission. This is a huge step for me and it made me think that if everyone could learn what I have and make an committed effort to apply it, we could transform ourselves and our organizations and beyond. The difference is to put the goal and the way to reach the goal through mutual understanding first with no compromise to this value.

Thus it is important that leaders learn and embrace personal success from the perspective of collaborating with others towards goals that contribute to a more enjoyable experience of life for people. And that does not mean having more money to buy the latest gadget or a bigger home and fancier car.

Does this make sense to you? Please post your comments and visit ThreeBrainSynergy to check out the demo lesson to understand yourself and others. It all begins there.

The Wooer telemarketer

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Just back from a week’s vacation in the beautiful Charlevoix and Saguenay regions of Quebec and so I was a bit slow in getting myself out the door this morning. This gave a chance for the telemarketer from Bell to catch me at home.

My first inclination when I heard the word Bell was to say I was in a rush and to call back, but after a few sounds of the sweet voice of Pascale, I was had. I have been experiencing difficulty with their services at home and work over the last few months and so I am not a great fan of theirs at this time.

And so it goes to show you that no matter how bad you may have performed yesterday (I refer to Bell as a collective You), an engaging, wooer type of employee can turn things around in a few moments and even sell more services. Which is amazing because just 2 weeks ago I wanted to get rid of them as a supplier.

A wooer employee or person is one who is so nice and empathetic you cannot resist their kind charm and words. And the ones that know and understand their own qualities and how to use them are really effective, case in point being Pascale the Bell girl.

The thing is in sales these wooer types are often weak because they are not at all aggressive. So don’t put them into aggressive type sales roles or situations where they need to use high pressure closing techniques. They are often attracted to and do well in social work type occupations including nursing and human resources. But they can be really effective in sales roles where they can use a gently approach to selling.

Pascale did a really good job of attempting to close me on a sale. She didn’t ask me to buy, she just assumed by my reaction and interest in her offer that I was ready to buy and was taking me down the lane of getting a final agreement. I did hold out saying I wanted to compare her offer with my current supplier and to call me back tomorrow. She agreed and said she would call at 9:30. Let’s see if she does.

So it is important for both the employer and employee to understand the type of person they are and how to best utilize the qualities of their type and the talents and skills they have developedthough learning and training. This person’s style was in great contrast to another Bell telemarketer who called me last month to sell me Internet hosting and design services. The guy was so aggressive and obnoxious I hung up on him They obviously work for 2 very different bosses and cultures within the Bell organization. I am even thinking the Internet guy may work for a third party.

I have been working with Frtiz Glaus and learning and teaching his typology approach to better understand people. The wooer type comes from his types of people system and is the Supporter type. I can tell this just by her behaviour on the phone, which I think is pretty darn good.

Fritz and I are working on a new website and on-line learning system to teach the types to business leaders and coaches. You can start by reading his book CrazyZoo available at http://www.lulu.com/content/394116. I was reading it again on vacation and it amazed me how much you can learn about yourself and others and how to improve relationships using this system.

Let’s see if the Bell girl does call back and succeeds in closing the sale.

Stephen